BTWN LVRS

When Chemistry Meets Demisexuality

Per Urban Dictionary: Demisexuals are characterized by a lack of sexual attraction toward any person unless they become deeply emotionally or romantically connected with that person. The level of connection required for sexual desire to form depends on emotional closeness rather than initial attraction.

Per Dictionary.com: Chemistry is the interaction of one personality with another.

This might be one of the most intriguing topics I’ve ever written about. I just discovered the term demisexual and what it truly means. Recently, I had a conversation with someone about how powerful intimacy can be when you wait for someone you genuinely love, even if you don’t realize you’ve been waiting. They mentioned waiting until marriage, and it made me think:

Is there something uniquely transformative about having sex for the first time with someone you’re deeply in love with? Does that depth enhance the connection forever, or just in the moment? And what happens to chemistry in the waiting—does it build quietly beneath the surface until it finally erupts?

The tricky part, of course, is that deep emotional investment makes you more vulnerable to being hurt. I’m no authority on this topic, but I know this: I love completely. Not forever, completely. I used to think I loved forever, but people can change you in ways you never see coming.

Lately, I’ve been paying closer attention to those subtle lessons that come from watching and listening, the unspoken words, the quiet signs. Love, I’ve realized, has a control switch. Not necessarily over love itself, but over how we respond to it. I once believed there were people I could love unconditionally—and maybe that’s still true, but unconditional love deserves its own conversation.

You can’t always control who you love or the circumstances that surround it, but you can control yourself. Preserving love and intimacy sometimes requires that restraint.

I read a quote once that said: “Chemistry is amazing, but timing is the biggest bitch.” True or false? I have a theory, it’s possible the timing was off because it was never meant to align.

Chemistry is magnetic, electric, and undeniable. But it’s also fragile. A single word, action, or silence can shift everything. Once you cross the sexual threshold, expectations begin to form, whether you realize it or not. Those expectations will eventually push you to ask questions you once avoided, to seek clarity even when silence feels safer.

And if that silence lingers? Follow the wind. Don’t cling too tightly to what’s already passing. Learn from the passion, from that place, but don’t drown in it.

Most importantly, be honest with yourself, even when they can’t be honest with you.

Don’t get lost in the idea of chemistry. Because when demisexuality and chemistry meet, the result can be extraordinary, but only when the timing is right.

~Tee~