Sometimes we aren’t searching for what our minds or bodies desires. At time we are searching for what our soul needs. We don’t always realize that until it’s occurred. There’s a depth to all of us, which gets diluted by insignificant matters of life and flesh. We confuse people’s words with real meaning because it’s what we’ve deemed necessary to keep them in our life. All the while their actions have shown us the truth of their words.
If you speak on something that hurts you but they continue to do it, it means one of two things. They don’t want to or they don’t know how. The key to discovering which it is will be shown purely by their effort or lack thereof. Not matter what they say, when people truly love you, effort not excuses will occur. Not perfection, so don’t look for it because that’s not reality.
In actuality, some of these people were never meant to stay forever. As we grow and learn who we are, the picture won’t always be pretty. Accept it but don’t be too harsh on yourself, these are growing pains. Pay attention to what you pay attention to. Everything and everyone aren’t worthy of that much of you. You are this amazing ball of love that shares yourself unconditionally but are growing weary.
Just hold steady, those who desire and need your love, compassion and depth are nearing and those who are life lessons will soon fade away. You will never be too much for those you are created for.
When sex occurs, energy is transferred. Men, just like women desire a good connection with the person they are having sex with. The difference comes in where some women and men don’t recognize that need. Men need intimacy, nurturing, and erotic love making as well. They need a shoulder, an open heart, acceptance and listening ear. Sometimes men give themselves so freely because they weren’t taught to value themselves or were taken advantage of at a young age. Exposed to things that make vulnerability, trust, love and intimacy a difficult feat. For some men, the need to perform well supersedes the need to connect. Arrogance, aggressiveness and materialism can be a mask for low self esteem and low self confidence. Some seek acceptance by excessive sexual behaviors, raunchy verbiage and avoidance of emotions. Every woman isn’t deserving of every man just as every man isn’t deserving of every woman. There’s strength is controlling carnal desires and limiting them to those deserving. But take some time to uplift the men in your life, be it lover, son, friend or co-worker. Society says emotional vulnerability isn’t ok for them and we end up with toxic masculinity but swear no one knows why. Be the change 💕
I just need to feel again. To really breathe and experience life in unique ways. I’ve never wanted to a person to leave others broken hearted, somehow I’ve been ok being the person that could be left broken hearted. I’ve made it ok for me to take emotional and mental hits and keep moving. This moment in my life, I have some control now. I can breathe a little. Life can and will deliver gut punches. People believe you can take them because you have been with little complaining. Sometimes you have to be quiet and focus on yourself. Healing takes time. That’s the best gift you can give yourself. At the end of the day, you can only change yourself and wish for growth for others. The road is long and the path isn’t clear but stay the course because you’re worth it.
I’m finally saying hello to 2020. The last decade brought me many things. Love, pain, success, knowledge, growth, happiness, peace and joy. But also, self-discovery, self-worth, self-love. I’ve grown mentally, emotionally, spiritually and sexually! As an emotional creature, I sometimes feel a bit deeper than maybe the average.
I’ve learned so much about love, loss and missteps.
I’ve learned about love addiction rooting from feelings of abandonment and rejection that are deep rooted from childhood.
Learned how that love addiction caused irrational feelings of desperation and unhealthy attachments.
Learned how much trauma not only shapes who you are but creates the inability to even see that a problem exists. We get conditioned to pain and we don’t even realize it. We confuse pain with love and the true form becomes unrecognizable.
Learned what it really looks like to own my shit, have patience with myself and grow from it.
Learned accountability and responsibility which helped with emotional regulation.
Learned that I didn’t fully express the dark parts of myself out of fear of judgment, shame or further abandonment.
Learned that those dark parts are part of my story and to allow them to be just that with only progress moving forward.
Lastly, I truly learned the importance of loving and being loved in a language that I understand and what it should feel like. To also accept others and understand their love languages how to meet them there.
For everyone that rocked with me this last decade, it was one hell of a ride and I wouldn’t change a thing about it!
Thank you to my final year in my 30th decade, for the lessons you’ve taught me. Time to knock out these goals and intentions for this week, month, year and decade!
You are deserving of great things and they will all come your way.
Sometimes the most unexpected things occur and knock you off your feet. You’re so use to fighting and loving in destruction that you fail to see a good thing and you sabotage it. You call it protection or boredom or simply bad timing, but it’s actually fear. Fear that you are finally feeling the love and effort that you deserve. Fear that somehow it will all come crashing down so you make mountains out of mole hills. You date the emotionally detached, the avoiders, the mommy/daddy issues, the ones too damaged and arrogant to even try, because you’re use to disappointment. But you know what, love? You deserve that one that shows you things your heart, mind, eyes and soul have never experienced and may even find inconceivable. Don’t be your own worst enemy. Healing is healing and it’s never too late to start that journey. Allow someone to love you through it when time lends its hand. Even if it’s short lived, embrace it.
Possibly three of the most powerful words many of us will ever hear but what’s the impact?
Sometimes it’s not that people love you, it’s that they love themselves and love how you make them feel. They love your consistency and dependability. Sometimes we put so much emphasis on hearing people tell us they love us but their actions show otherwise.
Loving someone means that sometimes you are uncomfortable because you learn to love that person in a way they understand love. The way they feel it. Meaning you took the time to listen and learn. How can you love someone when you only show it in a way that’s comfortable for you and find yourself shocked when they fail to feel loved. Or are confused about where they stand with you.
No one wants to always conform to the other persons way of loving with nothing in return. Love can be scary because of the fear of being hurt, but always keeping your guard up will result in people growing tired and walking away.
The most resilient in love may not mind the vulnerability because they understand the reward is great. Those people are often disregarded and undervalued. The best part is that eventually they figure out that they are wasting their love and move forward…
I’m in a unique space, where my energy only allows freedom, autonomy and love at this point. For a long time I felt trapped in a space of confusion that made me feel uncertain, as if I couldn’t breathe and made me cling irrationally. That came from hurt, fear, pain…trauma.
Sometimes our lives are full of expectations and other peoples needs that you fulfill. In those times people simply want to feel appreciated. They don’t want to beg others to spend time with them, hope they are thought of during the day or week only to not know or be last minute thoughts. They simply desire for someone to be nice to them with no pretense or expectations.
• Appreciate those who surround you.
• Be kind because it’s free.
•Kindness is so simplistically beautiful that it will change your life right before your eyes
•Stop acting as if you’re too busy for the people care about you. Even the busiest men and women make time.
Life is as simple and as beautiful as we allow ourselves to make it. Even people who have suffered the greatest heartbreaks and reside in extreme poverty still find reasons to smile. Send a smile a strangers way and be genuine.
Sometimes we spend so much time making others happy that we miss ourselves. Don’t miss yourself!
A deep, slow and passion kiss will change the vibe in almost any setting. Lately it’s been either raining or sunny and beautiful! With that said, there’s been so many opportunities for sex in the rain, on the balcony, on top of the car, in the doorway….. Taking each moment in as if you’re frozen in time. Reveling in the warmth and strength of the connection.
Besides, it’s it the connection that makes the difference, right? A connection will change the intensity of any sexual experience. It’s an enchanting high! Take time to nurture the depth of your person. Release the vulnerable sides of you. Be more open, more honest. Admit when you need them, when you want them and when you miss them. Understand that a connection will lack depth if only one person comes openly and speaks freely. People often say they’re an open book but will silently hide chapters. Don’t be afraid of hearing they don’t have time at the moment. The chaser will grow tired, they want to be chased (desired) as well. Everyone makes time where there is none, when they really want something and someone. Give them a chance because the truth is, they want to feel needed, wanted and missed. Speak up and breathe your desires…
The “strongest” people often take the longest to fall apart. This isn’t because they are immune to pain, but usually because they are so busy paying attention, helping and healing others that their needs fall to the waist side. When their limits are reached, it’s usually felt in a physical manifestation. It’s your body’s way of telling you that you are stressed, in shambles and slowly slipping away….
I want to take this time to ask you, both men and women, to take some time to assess yourself. What are you holding on to. What haunts you? Are you depressed? Do you know the symptoms? Are you aware that depression looks different in everyone? No two people are alike. It is not simply sleeping all day or closing yourself away. Please do not be afraid or embarrassed to look into whether or not this is you. Things can stay so buried that we never see them slipping back into the big picture. Too many of us are afraid or ashamed to be vulnerable. Possibly due to previous experience, but avoiding is damaging to yourself and everyone in your path.
Take yourself on a journey of self discovery and be completely honest with yourself.
Ladies, men battle depression and that has to be ok because they are human as well. Holding in what ails them will lead to self destruction. Men, depression in women is not the same as emotional symptoms of PMS. All of her feelings are not attributed to “her time of the month. Depression does not discriminate. Age, race, gender, sexual orientation, abled bodies, disabled, height, weight, none of the aforementioned.
The conversation, dialogue, narrative must change in order for us to heal as a collective.
“When I had nothing more to lose, I was given everything. When I ceased to be who I am, I found myself. When I experienced humiliation and yet kept on walking, I understood that I was free to choose my destiny.”
Paulo Coelho
Sometimes you find yourself in an uphill battle with war waged against you for unknown reasons. Even when you fight, your heart is the armor but the outcome is only known by your opponent. Often times so many of us travel the world with unhealed hearts that we purposely find numerous faults with others, become careless with others feelings, humiliate them, hurt them, and force them away to avoid dealing with matters of the heart. Maybe they entered your life with the goal to destroy, hurt or dismantle. Or maybe it’s simply… hurt people, hurt people. Fear drives people. Confusion scares people. Loneliness becomes defensiveness. Darkness becomes the shadow.
If you’ve been there, be a light for the walk up the path. The most unexpected things and unexpected people become healing. It is no easy feat nor can it be forced. Being the light doesn’t make you flawless or indestructible, it makes you willing and capable yet still a work in progress.
There have been many things things that were suppose to break you in your ethereal state but you are resilient with a purpose filled with love, forgiveness, hope, wisdom and passion to a fault. With that said….protect your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.
BTWN LVRS: Changing The Narrative 