This stranger graced my presence decades ago. The energy of said stranger made my mind explode with possibilities, my heart with joy and my gut with hope. This stranger felt like unconditional, like safe, like authenticity… Thank you beautiful stranger, your existence enhanced mine for the future. When you were my present, the darkness superseded my light. The pain superseded the joy. The inability to sit in the moment, in the joy, in the gratitude…was a major turning point. I didn’t allow myself to sit in the joy because I didn’t think I deserved it. Didn’t think I was worthy of anything that wasn’t difficult. Had to feel like a struggle to be real. Had to be harsh, corrective and painful. That’s what love felt like until the veil began to lift. The veil began to lift in 2019 and the broken hearted version felt healing for the first time. I could’ve feel love past pain. My emotions are so completely raw and vulnerable in this moment so I chose to write completely from my heart. Maybe you all have met this stranger as well. The stranger is my past.…
Life is funny. Love is powerful. Sex is the intertwining of souls. Intoxication. Consumption. Energy. Overwhelming. The staircase to all things love, passion, soul joining….
Is it possible to control who you love and how you love them? Does sex complicate that?
I have this idea that when you have sex with a person, your souls are joining. No matter how brief, that person is apart of you forever. I didn’t respect or even consider this portion of the equation when I was in my 20’s. I heard it before, but wasn’t sure what was meant by it.
I can say this, when you have sex with a person that you are both in love with and/or love beforehand, it is a completely different type of energy. One could say it’s electrifying. Have you felt before?
The act of sex is by far one of the most personal, intimate and enlightening engagements you will participate in. I implore you to be cautious who you share that part of yourself with. If you are in fact deeply in love with or love the person, you’ve now forever changed the dynamics of your love. You may feel possessive, attached and much more involved. Why is that?
Seems normal once you’ve shared yourself with a person. Do you punish yourself for doing it if the other person doesn’t feel the same way or when you don’t know what they feel? Do you even know what you’re feeling? Expectations… Are those feelings overwhelming? Are those feelings fair and warranted? Now what….
Be cautious with your words. True with your intentions. Release negative withholdings. Soothe your inner being. Move and act in love. Be genuine.
Today is a wonderful day to renew your energy. Focus on cleansing and healing. Share your energy with like minds. If you choose to make love or have sex today, be intentional in that. The energy you release and the energy you take in all play a role in your life. Be aware of what you are choosing to internalize.
Sometimes we aren’t searching for what our minds or bodies desires. At time we are searching for what our soul needs. We don’t always realize that until it’s occurred. There’s a depth to all of us, which gets diluted by insignificant matters of life and flesh. We confuse people’s words with real meaning because it’s what we’ve deemed necessary to keep them in our life. All the while their actions have shown us the truth of their words.
If you speak on something that hurts you but they continue to do it, it means one of two things. They don’t want to or they don’t know how. The key to discovering which it is will be shown purely by their effort or lack thereof. Not matter what they say, when people truly love you, effort not excuses will occur. Not perfection, so don’t look for it because that’s not reality.
In actuality, some of these people were never meant to stay forever. As we grow and learn who we are, the picture won’t always be pretty. Accept it but don’t be too harsh on yourself, these are growing pains. Pay attention to what you pay attention to. Everything and everyone aren’t worthy of that much of you. You are this amazing ball of love that shares yourself unconditionally but are growing weary.
Just hold steady, those who desire and need your love, compassion and depth are nearing and those who are life lessons will soon fade away. You will never be too much for those you are created for.
When sex occurs, energy is transferred. Men, just like women desire a good connection with the person they are having sex with. The difference comes in where some women and men don’t recognize that need. Men need intimacy, nurturing, and erotic love making as well. They need a shoulder, an open heart, acceptance and listening ear. Sometimes men give themselves so freely because they weren’t taught to value themselves or were taken advantage of at a young age. Exposed to things that make vulnerability, trust, love and intimacy a difficult feat. For some men, the need to perform well supersedes the need to connect. Arrogance, aggressiveness and materialism can be a mask for low self esteem and low self confidence. Some seek acceptance by excessive sexual behaviors, raunchy verbiage and avoidance of emotions. Every woman isn’t deserving of every man just as every man isn’t deserving of every woman. There’s strength is controlling carnal desires and limiting them to those deserving. But take some time to uplift the men in your life, be it lover, son, friend or co-worker. Society says emotional vulnerability isn’t ok for them and we end up with toxic masculinity but swear no one knows why. Be the change 💕
I just need to feel again. To really breathe and experience life in unique ways. I’ve never wanted to a person to leave others broken hearted, somehow I’ve been ok being the person that could be left broken hearted. I’ve made it ok for me to take emotional and mental hits and keep moving. This moment in my life, I have some control now. I can breathe a little. Life can and will deliver gut punches. People believe you can take them because you have been with little complaining. Sometimes you have to be quiet and focus on yourself. Healing takes time. That’s the best gift you can give yourself. At the end of the day, you can only change yourself and wish for growth for others. The road is long and the path isn’t clear but stay the course because you’re worth it.
You know the one you immediately thought of when you read the title. Yes, that one! Can you feel it? The moment when you can finally release that breath you’ve been holding in the second your lips touch… Yes. The engagement of your lips gently touching, arms wrapped around one another.
Maybe he sits you on the edge of the counter top and pulls you in as you wrap your legs around him. Your arms stretched around his neck while he slowly kisses your neck, your cheek, your lips.
Maybe you lay down while she breathes you in, rubs you down and finds herself more turned on simply by your smell and the feel of you. She slowly slides her hand behind your head to pull you closer to her with every deep breath. Your lips touch and there goes that breath again. Entangled. Immersed.
Maybe he holds you from behind, gently rocks you in his arms as you rest your head and he places sweet kisses on your neck and cheek. He turns you around to look into his eyes and your lips graze as you concentrate on one another. Then your lips softly touch, over and over again. The kiss so deep and passionate that you’ve become lost in time and space.
The chemistry is not only unmatched, it feels unreal. A great kiss is the match to a well lit fire….
When people are considering a relationship for the long haul, what takes priority? Are you considering how the person makes you feel or their ability to manage and maintain a life and its responsibilities? What drives your decisions?
If you have the person who is able to maintain life but provides you no passion, excitement, or fulfillment, does it work?
What if they provide the passion but lack the ability to maintain responsibilities?
What do you really need from a mate to be considered in a good and solid relationship? And is there a such thing as fulfillment in a relationship?
2021…. I stepped away for a year! In that year we were hit with a pandemic, who knew! I was also hit with many realities and challenges. Excitement that allowed my soul to rise! I’ll revive this blog because honestly, it’s pretty good y’all! It’s sexy, riveting and honest with information gathered from many sources which allows me to breathe life into each mini saga! For now, I bid you farewell but I shall return with the juice and I hope you’ll be reading….
I’m finally saying hello to 2020. The last decade brought me many things. Love, pain, success, knowledge, growth, happiness, peace and joy. But also, self-discovery, self-worth, self-love. I’ve grown mentally, emotionally, spiritually and sexually! As an emotional creature, I sometimes feel a bit deeper than maybe the average.
I’ve learned so much about love, loss and missteps.
I’ve learned about love addiction rooting from feelings of abandonment and rejection that are deep rooted from childhood.
Learned how that love addiction caused irrational feelings of desperation and unhealthy attachments.
Learned how much trauma not only shapes who you are but creates the inability to even see that a problem exists. We get conditioned to pain and we don’t even realize it. We confuse pain with love and the true form becomes unrecognizable.
Learned what it really looks like to own my shit, have patience with myself and grow from it.
Learned accountability and responsibility which helped with emotional regulation.
Learned that I didn’t fully express the dark parts of myself out of fear of judgment, shame or further abandonment.
Learned that those dark parts are part of my story and to allow them to be just that with only progress moving forward.
Lastly, I truly learned the importance of loving and being loved in a language that I understand and what it should feel like. To also accept others and understand their love languages how to meet them there.
For everyone that rocked with me this last decade, it was one hell of a ride and I wouldn’t change a thing about it!
Thank you to my final year in my 30th decade, for the lessons you’ve taught me. Time to knock out these goals and intentions for this week, month, year and decade!
You are deserving of great things and they will all come your way.
BTWN LVRS: Changing The Narrative 
