Do you decide you’re in love from the moment you lock eyes? Is it the conversation? The energy? The first kiss? That moment of sexual intercourse?
Does it feel like a cool breeze on a summers night? Like a glass of water when you’re parched? A warm bath after a long day?
That feeling when he’s not just on your mind but in your mind. He’s in your soul and he nurtures it. His words are filling and affirming to the heart. His touch is like silk or satin on the skin. His kiss is liquid gold but his lips are pillows. His hands are strong with a body that’s sculpted. His whispers make you purrr literally and figuratively. He increases the secretions on every level. The way he speaks and teaches and supports and listens and… Makes. You. Bite. Your. Lip, at the thought of him. All of this without actually having sex? This man is different. He is healing when speaking of healing in a physical form. What is the temperature in a room of passion with high self control?
How do you know it’s love? His whispers in your ear… down your spine… down your thighs… Up. Your. Thigh. He’s sensational, but is it love? And does he really exist?
Life is funny. Love is powerful. Sex is the intertwining of souls. Intoxication. Consumption. Energy. Overwhelming. The staircase to all things love, passion, soul joining….
Is it possible to control who you love and how you love them? Does sex complicate that?
I have this idea that when you have sex with a person, your souls are joining. No matter how brief, that person is apart of you forever. I didn’t respect or even consider this portion of the equation when I was in my 20’s. I heard it before, but wasn’t sure what was meant by it.
I can say this, when you have sex with a person that you are both in love with and/or love beforehand, it is a completely different type of energy. One could say it’s electrifying. Have you felt before?
The act of sex is by far one of the most personal, intimate and enlightening engagements you will participate in. I implore you to be cautious who you share that part of yourself with. If you are in fact deeply in love with or love the person, you’ve now forever changed the dynamics of your love. You may feel possessive, attached and much more involved. Why is that?
Seems normal once you’ve shared yourself with a person. Do you punish yourself for doing it if the other person doesn’t feel the same way or when you don’t know what they feel? Do you even know what you’re feeling? Expectations… Are those feelings overwhelming? Are those feelings fair and warranted? Now what….
You met in a dream. You locked eyes and in that moment you simply knew. It was raw energy, serendipity and pure bliss. Their stare deep into your eyes let you know that in that moment the veil was removed and it was no longer a dream. Before the dream ends something hits your body and wake up to find a bruise in the same spot…. Was it a dream or is your lover on their way to find you? Energy is everything💕💕
Sometimes we aren’t searching for what our minds or bodies desires. At time we are searching for what our soul needs. We don’t always realize that until it’s occurred. There’s a depth to all of us, which gets diluted by insignificant matters of life and flesh. We confuse people’s words with real meaning because it’s what we’ve deemed necessary to keep them in our life. All the while their actions have shown us the truth of their words.
If you speak on something that hurts you but they continue to do it, it means one of two things. They don’t want to or they don’t know how. The key to discovering which it is will be shown purely by their effort or lack thereof. Not matter what they say, when people truly love you, effort not excuses will occur. Not perfection, so don’t look for it because that’s not reality.
In actuality, some of these people were never meant to stay forever. As we grow and learn who we are, the picture won’t always be pretty. Accept it but don’t be too harsh on yourself, these are growing pains. Pay attention to what you pay attention to. Everything and everyone aren’t worthy of that much of you. You are this amazing ball of love that shares yourself unconditionally but are growing weary.
Just hold steady, those who desire and need your love, compassion and depth are nearing and those who are life lessons will soon fade away. You will never be too much for those you are created for.
I’m finally saying hello to 2020. The last decade brought me many things. Love, pain, success, knowledge, growth, happiness, peace and joy. But also, self-discovery, self-worth, self-love. I’ve grown mentally, emotionally, spiritually and sexually! As an emotional creature, I sometimes feel a bit deeper than maybe the average.
I’ve learned so much about love, loss and missteps.
I’ve learned about love addiction rooting from feelings of abandonment and rejection that are deep rooted from childhood.
Learned how that love addiction caused irrational feelings of desperation and unhealthy attachments.
Learned how much trauma not only shapes who you are but creates the inability to even see that a problem exists. We get conditioned to pain and we don’t even realize it. We confuse pain with love and the true form becomes unrecognizable.
Learned what it really looks like to own my shit, have patience with myself and grow from it.
Learned accountability and responsibility which helped with emotional regulation.
Learned that I didn’t fully express the dark parts of myself out of fear of judgment, shame or further abandonment.
Learned that those dark parts are part of my story and to allow them to be just that with only progress moving forward.
Lastly, I truly learned the importance of loving and being loved in a language that I understand and what it should feel like. To also accept others and understand their love languages how to meet them there.
For everyone that rocked with me this last decade, it was one hell of a ride and I wouldn’t change a thing about it!
Thank you to my final year in my 30th decade, for the lessons you’ve taught me. Time to knock out these goals and intentions for this week, month, year and decade!
You are deserving of great things and they will all come your way.
She glances at him from across the hotel bar. She knows him but not intimately. Their companies have multiple accounts together, many of which they have worked on together. She’s always felt some sexual tension and chemistry between them when they work together but she’s too shy to say anything and he’s too professional to get personal at work. She’s always wanted to see him outside of the office but what were the chances of them being on the same out of state account? And in the same hotel!? Was it fate? Who cares! A different state made her feel a bit confident!
In the dimly lit bar, Jill Scott’s “Crown Royal” playing in the background has her feeling bold! She signals the bartender and sends over his current drink of choice. He looks up when he receives it and she raises her glass to “cheer.” As he attempts to walk over, she walks away. The bartender hands him a letter stating the lady left it for him. The letter is simple, “I’m sure this is unexpected but if your desire is the same, use the key.”
When she enters the room she jumps in the shower to freshen up and rolls on a bit of perfume and deodorant. She stays waxed, so it’s all good there! She throws on a bra and panty set and suddenly she hears a knock at the door. With a racing heart, she turns on Sabrina Claudio “Naked” and says “come in”….
Sometimes the most unexpected things occur and knock you off your feet. You’re so use to fighting and loving in destruction that you fail to see a good thing and you sabotage it. You call it protection or boredom or simply bad timing, but it’s actually fear. Fear that you are finally feeling the love and effort that you deserve. Fear that somehow it will all come crashing down so you make mountains out of mole hills. You date the emotionally detached, the avoiders, the mommy/daddy issues, the ones too damaged and arrogant to even try, because you’re use to disappointment. But you know what, love? You deserve that one that shows you things your heart, mind, eyes and soul have never experienced and may even find inconceivable. Don’t be your own worst enemy. Healing is healing and it’s never too late to start that journey. Allow someone to love you through it when time lends its hand. Even if it’s short lived, embrace it.
Yes, I’m talking about biting your lip at the sheer thought of your lover. Tracing their face with your finger tip, tightening your legs from the shiver and exhaling because you realized you weren’t breathing! Whew! Closing your eyes and feeling them in their absence…
Open your eyes when kissing and watch how much passion takes over your body. It’s intoxicating! So much passion and intimacy lies within the touch. Touch one another. Play with one another. Laugh and talk with one another. Plan a surprise hotel stay and make love all night! Have a parking lot make out session! Throw caution to the wind but don’t get locked up! Please! Go on a date with crotchless panties! Get handsy! Play in the car, but don’t end in sex, leave with a little anticipation, a little yearning but not too long! Life is about fun as well. Loosen up!
Be with someone who makes it overtly clear that they want you! If you have beautiful, easy and solid chemistry, don’t take it granted, everyone doesn’t have it. It doesn’t mean they can’t have a beautiful relationship though. True intimacy takes effort. Consider your lover. Men typically want to be wanted, women want to be desired. Women love to be considered. Simple as that. The power of passion lies in intimacy. The power of intimacy lies in communication. The power of communication lies in vulnerability.
BTWN LVRS: Changing The Narrative 
