Tag Archives: life

Love and the battlefield…

Every single day that you wake up and you’re in love is beautiful. It’s also another day in the minefield of things that could explode. Often times we only consider the happiness and joy of love. We fail one another when we don’t consider how impossible it is to not let another person down. To not be terrified of being hurt. To not process our emotions, speak our deep hurts and heal our traumas. We fail one another by thinking that we are best suited to walk this journey alone and if someone wants to walk it with us they must get behind us because beside us isn’t available due to Damage being our right hand. That comfort zone that we all run to when things don’t go our way, get complicated or are more than expected.

Just because we dropped the ball doesn’t mean we can’t pick it back up.

Humans are flawed. Love is intricate. Love is also easy when people are willing to do the work. I sit in my new belief and firmly attest to it. People may love differently but all of us are capable of altering that way if we truly love another by opening our hearts and choosing to do so. We chose how successful we become by doing the work and making sacrifices, love works the same way. Life is about growing, making mistakes and learning from them.

Be open to learning new ways of love. There’s never just one way of doing things. We not only need other people but we need real, solid and true connections.

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How To Get The Want….

Day by day, each and every one of us has a struggle. There are no small struggles. It is not selfish to want to make yourself a priority, it is necessary. Self-care is key and understanding what you want can be just as important as what you need. We go through so many things we never share with another soul, that could cause us to suffer in silence and be alone in the midst of darkness that most wish to never encounter. All those thoughts, fears, pains, feelings… just let them pour onto the paper. I’ve included what I call, “Tarah-isms: Food for Thought” to hopefully provide some motivation, comfort, support, insight and solace…..

How to get the want


Our True Self…

People have expectations for us on a daily basis. Sometimes life moves so quickly that we do not even notice that we’ve adapted to who they want us to be. Along the way we lose ourselves and the intended direction of our journey. We find ourselves helping everyone and quenching their thirst from our own empty glass. A glass goes through a number of changes. Empty. Cracked. Shattered to pieces. Broken. You hear people say this but you’re so strong that it will never be you. The truth is, you saw the signs and watched yourself crumbling but you didn’t get the help you needed.

We are all human. Flawed. Fragile. We all require a certain something that we fail to discuss.

How do you get what you want, need and desire?


Love takes time…

Sometimes we fall in love when life is happening. We fall in love before we are ready. Before our minds are mature enough for the intensity of the love. Our bodies too busy to slow down enough to feel love’s power. It’s hold. But our hearts know better than we do.

Real love. The true stuff. It never leaves, but sits back in the shadows waiting for its turn. Quiet, intense but patient. Love had time, but do we?

Some relationships that we label as love, are actually comfort, security, attachment, and fear, but not love. Love is not shut off. Love chooses, not the other way around. The terrified ones try their best to ignore it. Shove it in the back of their closets. They’ve never experienced being loved nor giving love. The perpetuated cycle. Out of sight, out of mind. How do you love someone today but not tomorrow?

Does that work or does it hinder the ability to understand love and understand yourself?

Does that shortchange you or the person? Both?

What if you never find that type of love again?

What if you never feel that raw, deep, passionate connection full of chemistry, sexiness, vulnerability, laughter, consideration, reciprocity, truth, appreciation, tenderness, depth, soul, and excitement again? Are you willing to lose them forever?

Are those things necessary?

Do they exist in one person? Have you found one another?

That person that crossed your mind just now. The one who’s lips you felt graze yours as you briefly closed your eyes. Who’s body you feel pressed against you. Who’s name lies on the tip of your tongue each night but your ego stops you from contacting…

Pay attention, cherish and let go! Just exhale and breathe in those feelings that resonate with you. So many take those feelings for granted. Stop half-assing love ❤️


Connections & Love…

A deep, slow and passion kiss will change the vibe in almost any setting. Lately it’s been either raining or sunny and beautiful! With that said, there’s been so many opportunities for sex in the rain, on the balcony, on top of the car, in the doorway….. Taking each moment in as if you’re frozen in time. Reveling in the warmth and strength of the connection.

Besides, it’s it the connection that makes the difference, right? A connection will change the intensity of any sexual experience. It’s an enchanting high! Take time to nurture the depth of your person. Release the vulnerable sides of you. Be more open, more honest. Admit when you need them, when you want them and when you miss them. Understand that a connection will lack depth if only one person comes openly and speaks freely. People often say they’re an open book but will silently hide chapters. Don’t be afraid of hearing they don’t have time at the moment. The chaser will grow tired, they want to be chased (desired) as well. Everyone makes time where there is none, when they really want something and someone. Give them a chance because the truth is, they want to feel needed, wanted and missed. Speak up and breathe your desires…


Only human….

Each day is another chance to make a mistake, break a heart, start a fight, be rude, mean or disrespectful, but each day is also a chance to fix all of the above. Do people choose to not fix it because of pride, hurt or exhaustion? In a perfect world none of these things would even occur, but our world is real. We hurt the people we love, we get tired of being hurt, we say things with the intent to be dismissive, we fail to see the damage that we cause. Sometimes the fear of loving a person causes us to lash out and push them away in a heinous way. In efforts to heal ourselves, we break others or break the bond that may have been built on the internal brokenness of one or both parties. In order to heal, they must release, review and heal together. Or do they? Were they better before one another or after? There is no perfect love. Love is both beautiful and complicated because we are human. Is there an internal emptiness that resides where that person use to. Is their absence deeper than physical draw? Are they replaceable or did they create a world completely owned by the two of you. A dream.

“What happens to a dream deferred, does it dry up like a raisin in the sun”.


Good morning….


Womanhood…

From the moment our feet hit the floor in the morning, people have ideas about what we should be doing with our life. Everything from what we should wear to who we should date/marry. How we should feel, grow and adapt to maltreatment and be grateful for it or ignore it until it happens again. There are rules for women that are set by other  women, men, society as a whole. Our clothes dictate whether we should be taken seriously. Who we decide to date can create negative or positive views towards us, but not the men. We have to be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Be pure in virtue but have experience to please a man. Be ambitious but not aggressive or manly. Be smart but do not over shadow the man in the room. We are so use to others tearing us down that we tear one another down for the most irrelevant and unnecessary reasons. Being a woman comes with incredible hardships. Many of us are emotional creature and that is not easily understood by men. The fact is that women are created to love in a certain way. If that love is shunned, it changes her little by little. We are expected to take things with stride because we are told or expected to do so. Understand that I believe that healthy competition in the work place/ board room is necessary for the sake of business but constant criticism isn’t necessary.

The facts are simple, we women often bounce back from many situations. Why… because we are rock stars! We are nurturers, child bearers, wives, teachers, business women, CEO’s, authors, writers, publishers, artists, producers, musicians, actresses, directors, trainers, doctors, lawyers, psychologists… and we run the world! We do so much that it is time that we just recognize one another. Take the time out of your day to show appreciation to another woman. It is hard enough to live up to society’s unrealistic views, let’s just enjoy being women for the time being.


The Inconvenient Truth…

We often walk dark paths while attempting to deceive others into believing that our path is full of light. Society sheds such a bad light on not feeling like yourself, depression and mental illness of any sort. This is the biggest reason that many suffer in silence. Sometimes we do things, find people and say things that become our drugs and therapy versus getting the necessary help. These new drugs are strong addictions that you find impossible to kick, not because you need it, not because it’s good to you or for you but because you are numb and just want to feel again.

It is impossible to heal if you are only avoiding. Healing is hard. Healing is very hard. It is lonely, dark and cold. Those things or people that are now your drug are like a “vacation” an escape away from your own reality. This means that not only are you not healing, you’ve now created something else to forgive yourself for. You’ve dug a hole that only continues to get deeper and darker. Of course you smile because that’s your role in everyone’s life. You take it on the chin and understand that some people are just inherently assholes and no matter what you do or say it will never be enough. Just remember that it’s ok to be in this place. It’s not ok to continuously ignore yourself.

1. Find a place in your heart and forgive yourself and others

*Journey through what got you to where you are in this space. Dig deep

2. Write your woes on a sheet of paper and burn it

3. Start therapy and/ or medication to get you back on track if deemed necessary by a medical doctor

4. Take some time to yourself and evaluate how you treat people and how you allow people to treat you

5. The final tip is to love yourself no matter what. This will become difficult. At times you won’t like the person that’s staring back at you in the mirror. It’s constant change, constant evolution. You’ve contemplated the worse possible thoughts and you’ve been able to talk yourself out of it. You’re not alone. I know it feels that way because no one really understands. Especially when you’re taking blow after blow while trying not to break every single day. You’re so strong. As you read this you are realizing how much strength you possess.

6.  If you start to crack again, start from step 1.

Please ask for help before you give up.


My musical love affair…

The wind blowing, the beat of a song, the sound of a voice, the thought of a smile, lyrics to a song, intoxicating smells, a simple touch…

Driving and listening to music are two great things that help clear my mind. It settles my soul in a way that only music can and makes everything better! I’m a passionate person and it shows. When it’s true love, I love deeply, completely and forever.

From the moment I turn you on, you turn me on. You capture my heart by your rhythm. The beat gets deep into my soul and marks its territory. I should get away but I need just a little more. I’m like an addict, I yearn. Over and over again, you do your thing. It’s amazing, you get better with time!

Thank you my dear sweet music!


Music reminds of love. When most of us fall in love, we have no idea. That road is an interesting one. It’s so simplistic that it can go unnoticed until one day “bam”! It hits like a ton of bricks! We fall in love with many things. Life, people, music and even stuff.

We listen to music to motivate us and cheer us up! Those bumping fitness jams and that inspirational soul music that gives you life. You know what I’m talking about 😏


You ever notice how you listen to the lyrics of a song when you’re in a deep mood? The mood can be deep love, deep sadness or the state of being overjoyed. Yes, music is amazing that way. What’s the song that you turn to when your in love, love lost, happy, sad or exploring?

I remember when I heard Carl Thomas’ song “Giving you all of my love”! Changed my life!

“It’s just a wish on my mind, hoping you’d have the time

When I wanna see you, for something to hold on to.

If love is just a silly game, then I’m a fool that sang for loving you. Still I feel you don’t have nothing to prove

Touching you, holding you, is all I really wanna do. Day and night I just can’t get enough. I want you more, and really need, for you to just believe in me. And I’ll be giving you all of my love”…

Just beautiful! Remember to love deeply, even if it’s not forever! Be authentically you, and if someone doesn’t like it, show them love and kindness and move forward. It’s better to love and lost than to never love at all! Steal a kiss, close your eyes, listen to lyrics, feel the breeze,  daydream a beautiful thought, make last minute rendezvous arrangements, be spontaneous,  imagine the touch, dance like no one is watching …😘


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