BTWN LVRS

Originally written June 8, 2016

Reflected upon today, Nov 9, 2025

Per Urban Dictionary: Demisexuals are characterized by a lack of sexual attraction toward any person unless they become deeply emotionally or romantically connected with that person. The level of connection required for sexual desire to form depends on emotional closeness rather than initial attraction.

Per Dictionary.com: Chemistry is the interaction of one personality with another.

This might be have been one of the most intriguing topics I’ve ever written about. Back in 2016, I had just discovered the term demisexual, and the meaning stopped me in my tracks. I had recently been in a conversation about how powerful intimacy can be when you wait for someone you genuinely love, even if you don’t realize you’ve been waiting. We talked about waiting until marriage, about emotional connection, about the kind of love that transforms every encounter into something sacred.

I asked: Does love like that change everything afterward? Does it make the connection last longer, or does it just amplify the moment?

At the time, I didn’t have the answer.

Six years later, on June 9, 2022, I met my love.

But here’s the thing, I wasn’t in the market for a man. The day before, I’d just made one of the biggest and most difficult decisions of my life and was in no place to start something new. This was a slowww cook, but the juice was worth the squeeze.

I was on a journey back to myself, and nothing and no one would stop that process.

After years of giving everyone in my life all of me, I had so little left for me. My heart was full of lessons, not longing. My spirit was focused on rebuilding, not romance. So when we met, although his presence felt different, I made my boundaries clear: I only had space for the possibility of friendship. I told him that if he was open to that, I’d call.

He accepted.

And those boundaries became the soil where something extraordinary grew, a love story of epic proportions. The kind that reminds you that you don’t know what you don’t know, until you do.

Waiting doesn’t just protect your heart; it deepens your capacity to love.

When two people take the time to learn and grow into the idea of partnership, to know each other spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, and eventually sexually, without rushing into sex, something sacred forms. The intimacy becomes multidimensional. The connection matures before it manifests.

What I once wrote as curiosity has since become lived truth: waiting and bonding through respect, not pressure or conquest, builds longevity. Too many have taken the bonding out of relationships, and in doing so, have removed the very thing that makes companionship real.

Back then, I said:

“Don’t get lost in the idea of chemistry. Because when demisexuality and chemistry meet, the result can be extraordinary, but only when the timing is right.”

Now, I know,

the timing isn’t just about fate.

It’s about readiness, reverence, and the willingness to grow together before touching what’s sacred.

We’ll tell the full story someday.

But for today, I thought a little love pick-me-up was just what you needed.

Author’s Note:

This piece was first written in 2016, long before I had the language or lived experience to understand it fully. Revisiting it years later reminded me how wisdom often reveals itself long before we can name it. Sometimes, we write the truth our future self will one day live.

Feel free to go check out the original post!

💕Tee💕

🤎🤎🤎